Remember how I used the words painless and smooth sailing when it came to Owen’s adoption story — well Danny’s was quite the opposite. We had decided Owen needed a sibling, we had started all that paperwork, the meetings again. We paid the fees…
…then, unexpected phone call changed the course of our lives. Owen’s birth mother (K) — was expecting again and was hoping we would parent her second child. Now, this can be pretty common in adoptions, however this was almost 5 years later so we were surprised. Of course, we put our other adoption plans on hold, including the very large amount we paid to the agency, in hopes of raising our son’s biological sibling. It was early in her pregnancy but knowing our relationship and how we had managed to keep in touch over the years, we felt confident in this decision and trusted her. This a mistake.
I remember asking her only one thing, one favor – if she changed her mind, to please let me know so that we could continue with our original adoption plan. After a month of nearly daily emails back and forth, K went silent. No baby updates, no doctor appointments, no reaching out to the adoption agency we set up for her, no emails returned. We had been what the kids say these days; ghosted.
Days turned into weeks turned into months and as her due date approached, her disappearance led my heart to be shattered.. I worried for her, worried about her. I was angry, felt crushed that the baby we thought we could parent seemed to be growing further and further away. My son’s brother.
I can’t seem to really put this into words, but it was a true loss for me. While I don’t have experience being pregnant and having a miscarriage, that is the only experience I can relate this to — the feeling of having & loving a baby and then it was gone, without explanation.
The decision to return to our previous adoption plan was met with mostly sadness and a little excitement; a sense of defeat as we had been waiting, hoping the birth mother would change her mind and contact us for over 6 months. I questioned what other babies we had missed the chance to parent during this time. I felt loss for Owen, for us all.
We updated our adoption profile, went back to working with our previous agency. Happily awaiting the news of a match.
It was your average June day. I was at the gym, Owen in child watch with some of his friends. While on the elliptical, I received a life changing text:.
“Hey Sara, it’s K — I had the baby and I need to talk to you.”
After gathering myself quickly, hopping off the equipment, I walked out to the lobby of our local Y. Turns out K had the baby and due to some circumstances I am not going to get into, she wanted our family to adopt her SON!
So with less than 24 hours to get from Massachusetts to Las Vegas, I made it happen.
My To do:
But if you know me, you know that I thrive under this pressure. Give me a to-do list any day.
I made this trip alone, with an empty car seat (imagine the looks I was getting walking through the Las Vegas airport). I was anxious, nervous, excited.
But honestly, once I was there, things went smoothly. I walked into a hospital I have never been in, took the elevator up and walked into a room and met our son. Daniel Michael Solomon Maida (again two middle names to honor the birth parents name choice of Solomon) — I immediately scooped him up and FaceTimed an eager Tom and Owen to meet him. Social workers, nurses and doctors were so extremely helpful. I did the paperwork and within two hours, I left the hospital with my son. This was a total surreal moment for us all. Truth be told, I drove directly to Nordstrom Rack and got him some freaking cute clothes!
I spent the first day alone in Vegas and the boys flew out the next day. To Vegas. With a 5 year old. And a newborn. Imagine the looks we got as we cruised the Strip with our 4 day old baby. And honestly, what would anyone think — wow, they have a gambling problem!! This was the very first time I had been to Vegas. But we had fun — explored the city a little, met up with the boys birth mother for ice cream. This was the VERY FIRST TIME she would see Owen, as she never met him in the hospital the first time. Those images are for our boys and private, but it was absolutely a moment in time none of us will forget.
I will end this journey sharing a moment with you that I will 100000% never forget. The moment Owen met Danny. It wasn’t a picturesque moment, it was sitting on the dirty floor literally in the middle of the Las Vegas airport. Not only was it love at first sight for Tom and I, it was the same for Owen. Their bond was immediate and can be seen in how he looked at his little brother, a little piece of him. This journey brought our family to completion — despite all the ups and downs, the heart ache, the joy, the kindness of strangers, we wouldn’t have it any other way.
My last installment of this series will be answers to all your questions! I would love to hear your thoughts, your comments and your questions about domestic adoption. What have you always wondered? What about our journey did you love? Feel free to comment below or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org
Thank you for following along, letting me share my heart with you!!